Darling buds

Four days off work! My plan was to not have a plan and trust I would do what I needed to do. It’s day two and I’m excited because things are changing — my glute tendons are healing (YES), my meditation habit has bedded in (now I miss it when I can’t do it), I’ve moved to using a black pen in my notebook for literary notes (to make them easier to find), I bought good pencils to get back into making notes in margins, my exercise clothes are all in one drawer (good morning yoga mat!) — the momentum is unmistakeable.

I’m making changes in my head with these small shifts. I wrote the word ‘studio’ on my white board a week ago, and that’s percolated into this energy I’m feeling which is about being focussed and mindful when doing the things that are important to me. In yoga they talk about bringing it all to the mat, and that’s what I think studio means to me. In writing, it’s the blank page, in cooking it’s a clean and organised kitchen counter. It’s a space and a mindset — a place to learn, study, practice and create. A place where you need to show up.

Patreon is alive again, and I’ve been thinking about what to do for the people on the Weird & Wonderful tier. I went through a period of buying a hardback novel once a month. Something new and hot off the press. The book that broke me was Ben Lerner’s 10:04, which at the time I couldn’t make head nor tail of. That was published in 2015 (didn’t expect that, but I shouldn’t be surprised, wow, nine years ago, fuck). I bought All Fours today, by Miranda July, thinking I would get back into that habit, and I’ll write about what I make of it for Weird & Wonderful members next month. It might become a thing, or it might not. Let’s see!

The WIP is alive too, which is nice, although writing hasn’t magically become easier in (let’s call it what it was) the break. There’s a lot of gunk in the mechanism. (Should that be the post title? Gunk in the mechanism? Um… no? Maybe?)